Effective communication is a critical core competency of any human interaction, whether business, corporate or personal in nature. Everyone you meet processes information in a different and unique way, so how is it possible to communicate effectively, utilising resonant language, with everyone and anyone? The answer is simple, understand the psychology of response with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Today, I would love to share 4 handy communication tips for you to immediately put into practice, right now and observe how the effectiveness of your communications improves substantially. The following are proven approaches that are based in neuroscience. They work!
1. Believe in your message
The primary element towards stimulating a constructive dialogue that you simply must embrace is the beliefs you hold about your message. The transmission of deep-seated personal beliefs isn’t something that you are always consciously aware of and it is happening all of the time when you are conversing with others. You project your beliefs through your physiology, energy and language and that often happens outside of your conscious awareness. If you have no belief in your message there will be no resonance for your audience. Make sure you fully understand the reasoning behind your message, the desired destination of the content of your communication and make sure you fully believe in it.
2. Adopt a resourceful emotional state
As you approach your key conversations, think carefully about your own emotional state at the point of delivery. NLP provides us with a practical state management technique called ‘Anchoring’. Anchoring allows you to change your emotional state to something more useful, on demand. There is little to be gained from having a conversation when you are angry, frustrated, nervous, fearful, anxious or upset. Absolutely the best state to be in is one of relaxed alertness and some well-placed, appropriate humour goes a long way towards generating essential rapport.
Let’s experience a bit of anchoring so that you can begin to understand how to manage your emotional state. Here’s the simple process. This example is for creating confidence, you can insert any resourceful state in its place if you wish:
Remember a time, a specific time, when you felt really confident.
As you remember that time, imagine going back to that specific event now, float down into your body, see what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel the feelings of being totally confident.
As you begin to experience the confident feeling, squeeze one of your earlobes. Keep squeezing until the confident feeling begins to leave your body. Then release your earlobe.
Now, when you squeeze your earlobe again, you will immediately recover the confident feeling. Congratulations, you have just set a kinesthetic anchor!
3. Build rapport
I’m sure you have often heard about a magical condition between two individuals or an individual and a group that is known as rapport. You hear about the need to build rapport all the time, particularly in corporate settings. Do you really know how to create it at a very deep level? Has anyone ever taught you a foolproof process for building deep rapport quickly and outside of conscious awareness?
At its most basic, rapport is a process of matching and mirroring physiology. It is an accepted psychological phenomenon that people like people who are like them. When you like someone, you are willing to assist them in achieving their goals. Making conscious connections with the unconscious minds of your audience is how you are going to take them with you on your communication journey and to have them accept your messages, no matter how difficult or complex they may be, uncritically. In the profession of NLP, we will coach you in building instant and deep rapport by encouraging you to extend your matching and mirroring beyond the boundaries of the obviously physiological and begin to match the more subtle aspects of a person’s neurology. For example, matching the expressions, idiosyncratic language, sensory preferences, voice speed, pitch, volume, quality and most significantly, match the breathing patterns to create a seemingly magical and highly productive conduit of communication.
4. Linguistic structuring
So, you believe in your message and you are in a useful emotional state. You have spent some time building deep rapport with your audience, now and only now should you deliver your message. At this point, the way you have constructed your message will dictate your results. Always begin with some robust reasons as to why your audience will benefit from hearing what you have to say. As everyone likes to receive information differently, make sure that you use a recipe that combines visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital linguistic ingredients. This means using visual words for those who like to learn in pictures, words that resonate with people sensitive to sound, kinesthetic words for people who run off their feelings, auditory digital words for those who like logic and facts.
This is the ‘big picture’ offering and should include all the positive reasons why your message is important and worth hearing.
Use your sensory acuity to observe your audience. Sensory acuity is a foundation skill that you will learn in NLP. It is a method of observation that will allow you to identify key state changes in your audience as you notice minute changes in their physiology. If you have enough sensory acuity, you will notice that those changes have meaning. When you sense that you have buy-in to the why statements, then you can tell them what the message is. A great way to add colour to your communication is to use metaphor which touches each individual at the personal level and opens up access to the unconscious mind in a way that seems almost magical in its nature. The use of stories in your message will create a myriad of coloured threads which can be woven into a rich tapestry illustrating your message in a way that is palatable and even compelling. Keep your language positive at all times. The unconscious mind does not process negatives, so say it the way you want it.
Next, your message should describe how your message is important. This is the point where you can leverage a wider range of perspectives by stimulating conversation and opinion. Encourage discussion, questions, and self-coaching to develop. Now you have a communicative conversation.
Remember, every time you speak you change the way someone feels, so always focus on generating positive outcomes in your communication and they will be effective every time.
To develop a mastery of communication for yourself, you are invited to join Quest for Success Ltd at our next Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Training. During the 8-day training you will develop a deep and complete understanding of language and communication and have the unique opportunity to substantially enhance your personal growth and development. Investing in yourself is the only investment that has a 100% guaranteed return and when you invest in yourself, then the world will reciprocate by investing in you. Build a whole new business for yourself or accelerate your prospects within your existing career.
Any future that you can imagine is achievable. How do we know? We know because if you didn’t have the resources within yourself to create that future, you wouldn’t even be able to conceive of it because you wouldn’t have the breadth of neurology to support it. Re-connection with your inner resources is all you need and we will assist you in finding and developing them way beyond your current expectations right now.